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But Now All I Feel Is Numb
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Because I should have known, right from the start. I'm deleting you right from my heart. Yeah it's over, my last move is to unfriend you.
You're the best liar I ever knew, so I will unfriend you.
Not my day today. May be one of the worst. So today had nominations of councillors. Teshana, Drew, Kaitlyn, Liyana, Kai Tan & Me got nominated. Teshana was already in, so good for her. So the rest of us went outside, and the class voted. We kinda peeked through the top window. So drew was like "I want to be councillor." Then kay was like "Why you so greedy?" So drew replied "I want to have leadership skills." What else does she want. CCA Comm, she's already the vice chair, and she also wants to be a councillor. She has leadership skills as a vice chair, why don't you take advantage of that? So drew & I had the same number of votes. So drew's clique wanted a re-vote. Anyway, congrats to liyana & kaitlyn. I'll vote you guys & teshana.
So during english, went to library, then forgot to take book. So asked dione to accompany me go take. So she told me what you guys said. When tricia said my name, you guys were like "What the hell, why is she nominated." That killed. So I may not be popular, but at least I have respect for you guys okay, I cherish what I have, I do my work properly, and people even said that I made a good leader better than you guys. Not boasting, just saying that, you guys only care about yourselves. You're selfish, and you don't even care about the class. You don't control the class. Drew, you're not even doing a good job being a vice chair, do you think people would vote for you? I can tell you, the whole class regrets it.
Went for lunch, emmersen & cheyenne followed like wtf. Why are they following us. All of us didn't even want them here. Just because drew they all aren't going out, so they follow us. I should've gone home and slept. So when they came, we moved seat. Only farina & me luh. Just damn pissed. Emmersen & Cheyenne won't change, and never will. They promised us that they wouldn't go back to them, but they did. That's you're problem. You just can't stand being alone, at least we were there for you when you were down. But no, you used us. You think you guys are cool, but you're just disrespectful, rude and two-faced.
Why did you message me when you saw me? I don't know, but it seems like we're strangers already. You don't even say hi. I don't even know if you care. Or maybe you don't. Guess that's all I really have to say.
I haven't cried yet. Trying to be strong. Trying hard to fight these tears, I'm crazy worried. Messing with my head this fear, I'm so sorry. There's no point in going back, fighting against them. If they want me down, be it. At least I live and act like a mature teenager, whose at least trying to be strong and not be immature like you, who just wants to be angry and fight back. Because fighting gets to nowhere. So I'm moving on, gonna concentrate and study hard, and get to a good class next year.
“I’ve always felt like the girl who never gets the brass ring and maybe I never will, but today, and at regionals, the way you guys believed in me and took a chance with me…. All I’ve ever wanted was to feel special and to feel chosen and I just, um… I just wanted to thank you guys so much for giving me that.” - Rachel Berry.
Maybe I wont or never will get the attention, or being popular. But I help others, when they need my help. I cherish my friendship. What matters most is that I get a good education, and have a good time in IJ, and just focus on what is ahead of me.
Thank you to those who cheered me up especially Farina, Dawn & Odelia.
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5:11 PM
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