Shot me out of the sky, you're my kryptonite♥

For you Nat. You're beautiful kay? Don't let others or yourself tell you that you're not. Everyone's beautiful in their own way. So first thing, what was the first thing you noticed before I told you? I was so freaking curious. Okay. Anw, god didnt choose to kill all the first born. The angel of death did. I'm glad you're taking a step. I'm so proud of you. You'll have a happy ending okay? Everyone does. Whats intuition? Hahaha okay my english jia lat. And i lazy to search. Okay, its the act by which the mind perceives the agreement or disagreement of two ideas. Whut. Anw. Yes I understand. I know it's hard. I've been through it MANY TIMES. And I'm sure many others have gone through it as well, and not only us. Be strong, I know you can get through this. I haven't shared much, because you not online walauu. Haha jkjk. Let's go out soon and chat, kay? Cause there's only 3 people whom I trust in class, nat, wq & liyana. I can't trust anyone else. And naomi of course. Anyway, Liyana posted something on the class page. I cried reading it. Let me copy & paste here.

Recently, I was asked by someone: “do you believe in the word hate?”

“Hate??” I thought to myself in disbelief.

In my opinion, hate is a really, really strong word. So what I replied was, "no, I don't even know what is hate."

Many of you will probably look up at the dictionary, or start researching what 'hate' means, or what it is stands by for.

I stared at the outskirts of town, wondering why such word exists in this world. Is it because there must be always an opposite of anything we do? Example, loving someone. Why on earth there must be hating someone? Or perhaps, the word is not even ‘hate’.

I just want to say here, don’t grow up with words like; “fail”, “quit”, or “rejection”. Erased those words from your dirty thoughts in this process of growing up. Don’t let them cross your mind. Grow up with a thought of believing that we could accomplish anything we set our minds to. Do not think “How?”, but when you are done with it but you didn’t PASS the line, ask yourself, “How come?”.

Many of us hate each other because of some certain reasons. And in that process, us who are the victims will do something cruel to ourselves. Yes, I am using the word cruel.

All of us are human beings, who are fear or rejection. We want to be with the society, we want to feel like we belong. But when we misused it, the meaning of it will no longer be.

Now, let me pour everything out. It may be stinging at first, but if you read between those words, you’ll understand why.

I hate being screamed, being shouted. Being ordered, being demanded. Being hated, being not belonged. Being someone who cries before sleeping, thinking she hope she would do everything right if she has the day rewind again. Being rejected, being discriminated and being looked down upon.

But lastly, being felt invisible.

But the mostly lastly, the last that you would see if you scroll down your mouse after an hour, I hate being in a clique who has the thought of hating someone or saying something bad of someone. I will always feel bad, but that is not the whole point. I hate feeling in the middle.

Comment something below. What do you feel being rejected? Let us read each other’s opinions, each other’s feelings. Let’s not underestimate their answers. Lets read between those lines.

I absolutely agree with Liyana a lot. I felt all of those above, all the time. I know Liyana helps me a lot. She gives me courage, she gives me strength. During the class outing, she told me, that she will be there for me for that day. I was glad, I have a friend like her. I'm sorry Nat, I wasn't there for you during the class outing. I was in need of help as well because of what happened the day before. I was really broken, and I needed to get back up. And Liyana helped me. I am very grateful for having great friends like you guys. Not only Liyana, all of you. Even if I've been mean, rude, or wasn't there for you, I apologise for my mistakes and attitude. So as I was reading through the 2/7 page, Christiann posted saying there's a traitor in class. And she also mentioned that "she knows". I'm guessing she's referring to me. Who else could it be. I don't blame you for telling them I was with Naomi. But I had to talk to her. She's my best friend, best mashed potato friend I mean. So I'm guessing she's saying I'm betraying the class cause of the lit drama, just to be with my best friend? Is it a problem? If it is, I'm sorry, then you aren't a friend nor partner to me anymore if you can't accept me to be with my best friend. You might as well tell the whole class it's me, rather than keep people wondering. GO ON. IDONTGIVEAFUCK. I wish Liyana can read my blog, so she'll know what I'm always thinking about that I can't seem to get it out of my mouth. But this relationship is a secret. I'm scared she'll not understand.