Shot me out of the sky, you're my kryptonite♥

So I'm talking to liyana now. And I'm crying now. And webcamming with you. See, Liyana left me. I just felt like you were even if you said you're not. I knew it. But I'm not forcing her to stay. I know I have to try. You know everything you're saying to me is making me cry even more. I don't think I've ever cried this much. I guess I should be alone. I'm clingy. I don't like to be alone. But being alone is good once in a while. Thanks NatNeo for being there for me when no one else was. I'm sorry Liyana, I'm such a fucking mean bitch that everyone hates and I didn't mean it. If they hate me fine, let them be. But I know I have to be strong. You keep saying I'm stronger than you all. But I'm also fragile at times. I've been tempted to cut, but I won't. I'm a coward. I don't dare to cut myself. I don't dare to stand up for myself. I don't dare to tell the teacher that I'm feeling like shit. And all these are giving me shit. I have no courage. I was never courageous. Never ever. I'm just too scared for everything. Everything I'm writing now is making me cry. I jump and fall. Then I can't get back up again. I feel like I have no more strength in me anymore. My fragile strength is gone.

I'm looking at you, thinking what did we do wrong. I blame it on me. It's my fault. I regret it. I saw your hand. You had cuts. I'm sorry I made you do that. I wish you can cut me so that I'll get that hurt too. But you won't do it. Everytime I look at you. I ask myself. Why did I let you go? I miss you so much. And now you're becoming one of them. I'm scared I'll lose you. I already lost a clique. And they will never ever forgive me. Sometimes I wonder, is it because of my attitude? Probably yes. It's always is. I'm sorry for what I said. I'm sorry for my attitude. I'm sorry for being rude. I'm sorry for being mean. I'm sorry for ever being your friend. You may not forgive me, but I will. Because God wants me to.

Philippians 4:6-9

⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

1 Corinthians 10:13

¹³No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Maybe I should read the bible more often and pray the rosary. Anyway, thanks for cheering me up. This shall be the last time I say goodbye then. Thanks for the memories. And I'm sorry. When I say sorry, I mean it.

Thanks Nat, for being there for being there for me today & going home with me. Thanks Wq, for being there for me when they weren't around. I know I can't force you to not go with them. After all, you all are a clique. But thanks anyway for having lunch with Nat & I today. Thanks for going home with me. Thank you for every single thing, good or bad, happy or sad. Thank you Naomi, for being a good listening ear, giving me advice, being there for me, helping me with my work. Thank you Liyana, for being there for me, for being a great chairperson (I'd probably wouldn't be able be a good one, even if I was elected), for giving me advice. Thank you Sabrina, for the fun, the laughter, the retardedness, the craziness. Thank you Dione, for the concerts, the music, the fun, the laughter, the craziness, the bieber fever, glee projecting. Thank you Christiann, for helping me in history, for helping a great partner, the fun, the laughter, the jokes, the craziness, vampire diaries, harry potter. Thank you Nat FM, for helping me with my work, for being a listening ear, your bitchiness, your squeaky high pitched voice. Thank you Chloe, for helping me with my work, mcginty fever, cameron, hannah, glee projecting, glee, finn, singing, Thank you Farina, for being there for me, for helping me. Thank you everyone. And apologise for all my wrong doings.