kay ow. i guess i just hurt everyone right. right or wrong, it's still the same. pain, rejection. i'm sorry you had to go and help. im sorry to everyone. im sorry for hurting you. im sorry for being a bitch. im sorry for helping you. im sorry for being nice. im sorry for being mean. im sorry for my attitude. im sorry for my life. im sorry for everything.

i feel like crying now. this week has been real fucked up. anyway, already cried in the mrt. i can't control it anymore. i shall be a loner with nat. 2 loners come together. that's great isn't it. i get it dear, you dont wanna lose your friends, yet you want to be with me. but i'm sorry. just go with your choice, i know it's hard. but i'd rather you be happy and be with them than with me. i guess now i can juts say that i'm used to it. used to all this shit, tolerance, nonsense, screams, shouts, annoyance, irritance, crap. i pray for all of you. but i guess god's waiting for me to be patient.

thanks liyana for the song. I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know. I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, but life goes on. I guess no matter how im feeling, life still goes on despite all the difficulties. guess it's about time for a new song.

christiann, hate me for all i care. or to any of you. hate me. because maybe i should stand alone. but i also know that i can't do this on my own. that's why i have nat. today angel pissed the fuck out of me. why can't nat sit beside me? you don't even know whats happening and how she's feeling. why the fuck must you let her sit somewhere else. and when syalita came, she didn't even sit there. if you're wondering, she's like me, an outsider. rejected, left behind, nobody notices us. i realised that we both have a lot in common. we feel as if we're not good enough, to please anyone, i get it. i feel it, i understand it. so why must you make it so difficult for us? even to just say hi, it's so difficult now. i don't even feel as if we're in a class. i want to migrate. i've always wanted if you wonder. and now only my dad notices that im into photography & he kinda found out that i'm having friendship problems. everyone needs attention, everyone wants attention. we're all attention seekers. but too much isn't good. i guess i'm seeking too much. that's why people hate me. i'm annoying as a fucking bitch.

i'll be fine, let's hope tmr will be okay, but i doubt it.

goodnight.