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Who I Am
Sunday, June 17, 2012
I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapour in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord you catch me when I'm falling, and you told me who I am. I am yours.
~Who Am I - Casting Crowns
Hello! Just came back from church camp! :) It has been really great. Made friends with people I hardly talk to. Got closer with the girls too. Received many letters. :')
Day 1
Went to church, I saw you. You were just sitting there using your phone. Sigh. Why you like so lonely like that. Then you went to the other bus. Felt kinda sad. Y U NO TAKE THE OTHER BUS. kay so went to the holland road there. the FMM. went to conference room. got split into groups. self-control! my facil is so awesome, her name is Emily. ;) she's so nice and friendly. and so my group consisted of rynell, audrey, joycelyn, marc, michael, stuart and me. so we went down to play some games and we had our booklet. and we were supposed to write something nice about each other. i was freaking shy to ask you k. so i only asked the girls. how awkward would that be seriously. then played a few other games. damn fun. ;) then dinner and wash up. playing truth or dare with the girls. then sleep.
Day 2
I woke up like twice in the middle of the night. anyway, washed up, went down for morning prayers. said the rosary, eat breakfast. bread.. really? ate kaya bread. then went to conference room for retreat! until 10pm. it was damn fun. sister grace and her team are so nice and friendly. really made an impact on us. they were talking about how we only have one life to live and that we need to cherish it as much as possible and that God is always with us. because the theme of the camp was 'Emmanuel', which is 'God Is With Us'. We had to write our secret sins and pinned them to a wooden cross. then, there was this part in the retreat where we were covered by a purple cloth which symbolises God's empathy and they were whispering into me ear that God is always here with me, and that he loves me and will always be there for me and I would always be a child of God. I cried. This shows how much God loves us all and I cherish that. And no matter how down we feel, God is always with us.
you left halfway cause' you had a golf tournament. good luck to you. i'm sure you're pretty good since you're in SSS. i wrote you a note as well. just a friendly note. I'm still waiting for a thank you at least. if not i might as well confess to you that I like you. but i'm just too afraid to admit it to you. so many questions in my mind. how would you feel? would you feel the same way? are you going to ignore me? are you going to treat me differently? i also found out that another girl finds you cute. oh well. she finds paolo and dunno who else cute also.
anyway, had a terrible headache last night. i didn't eat supper, i went straight to bed and slept until 11.50 then slept at 12+ again until 6.50. my headache was gone thankfully.
Day 3
Continued our retreat. Sang lots of songs. I love the songs. It's all so catchy and nice and meaningful. :) It was so fun! the video down there, we did a similar thing. so we ha to write like how we felt throughout the camp and i wrote a simple word: happy.
Throughout my life, I've never been happier. Being close to God made me happy. And also being with my friends made me happy. The retreat was great and meaningful. It gives me hope and to know that God is always with us and that we should not give up in whatever that we do. I've been rejected, excluded, angry, sad during my normal days. But during the camp, it just made me feel joyful. It was memorable. I won't ever forget this experience and it is only once in a lifetime that we get to experience this.
Jason Gray - Remind Me Who I Am
went back to church and got home, followed a lot of people. haha. i have to admit, some guys ARE cute. :) but you, are the one i want. lol rizel was telling me about his tan line. perv. hahhah. kidding :)
feel so left out now, honestly. they're gossiping about boys and im like left out. okay then. rizel is also feeling this way. :l she's so awesome okay. love her.
love my girl friends from church <3 :)
~melissa, used to be in my chinese class back in p6, she has cheeky lame pick up lines. haha.
~tedra, known her since p4, really nice! :)
~rizel, known her since p6 during the camp after psle, really awesome, friendly and nice!
~tricia, became more close to her during camp, she's really nice:)
~audrey, my group mate! she loves glee too! and she compliments me on my guitar playing since i asked sister grace if i could borrow her guitar! :)
~abbie, used to see her in church a lot. she's really pretty and nice.
~audrienne, she's quiet but she's nice too.
~celeste, she's a little bimbo but she's funny haha.
~alison, funny too and nice.
~clydell, cute, funny, directioner too
~veronica, directioner, nice, friendly.
~emmersen, oh i know her already so ya.
~rynell, group mate, nice, friendly, pretty, awesome, gleek, directioner:)
~danielle, she's damn pretty im serious, nice, friendly, her artwork is fantastic. she has a very sweet voice too. i was playing safe & sound and she was singing to it :)
~kayelean, really nice and friendly, pretty too,
~shermaine, nice and pretty and friendly :)
~joycelyn, group mate, nice, friendly.
~caitlin, quiet.
~novella, quiet too.
~janell(sp), she's nice
~maria, nice and friendly.
and of course my facil, emily! she's so awesome and great and ya :) oh and there's another facil, her name is geraldine and she's like super super pretty can. she was taking a rest on the bed and she looked like sleeping beauty/snow white. idk la, like a princess! and she looks a bit like katniss. HAHAHA. i meant jennifer lawrence :) k emm thought she looked like nat's sister. no. there are other girls too uh, but not close to them cos they slept in a diff room.
some of the boys i remember, they're pretty hilarious & good looking. :)
~ terrence, he wrote a letter saying 'hi i just wanted to tell you that..' -flips open- 'you are a child of God. From your friend, terrence'. hahhaha damn funny can. and he put that paper on each of the girls' bed. LOL. he's quite hot. like really hot. idk. damn buff can. also an alter server.
~raphael(i think thats the sp), he's so flirty haha. that time i was walking with rizel and tricia to the canteen, then he was like 'excuse me ladies'. we were like what the hell? haha. damn funny. i think he does that to every girl. anyway, he has a cute face. also an alter server
~mark, he's gay. he damn annoying la. haha.
~gerald, he's nice. ok i used to like him too but it was a short crush ish thing. good looking too uh and he's so holy.
~zinho, he damn joker. the speaker was like catch the hat la. then he randomly throw in his direction then he caught it then the speaker was like 'ok good, you're saying prayer before lunch.' hahah. pwned.
~sam, he's damn funny can. he sounds drunken most of the time. can be annoying too.
~paolo, he's good looking, just the hair a bit the urgh hah. not bad la. he was supposed to do a dare with 4 other guys so they did the banana dance thingy and he was damn funny ok.
~joseph, he's so annoying. he used to be in my chinese class back in p6 with melissa. lolol.
~ashley, he sat beside me because teacher asked us to sit boy girl boy girl so annoying la. :( he's quite cute.
~brandon, i think every girl wants to date him but unfortunately, he's attached lol. quite good looking.
and of course youuuuuuuuu.
why are you so cute? bet you didn't know you're the first guy from church whom i added on facebook and followed on twitter. i've had feelings for you for over one and a half months now. but you still don't feel the same way despite i hoped those tweets were referring to me. i notice you hang out with mark and gerald a lot. they are like insanely funny. did i mention that i love your smile? we were playing double wacko and i sort of called out your name. we were playing tree and squirrel and i was the squirrel and you and mark were the trees. okay i was freaking awkward just squatting there like some dunno what. i wrote you a note, just saying that you're very friendly, i hope to know you better and im glad that you're a directioner. and i don't get a thank you from you yet. it scares me, don't tell me i put it in the wrong envelope. but i think i did put it in correctly.
as i've said earlier, if i had confessed, many questions are in my mind. would you start to ignore me? because i do not want that to happen. would you feel the same way? i highly doubt so. i've stared at you like crazy but you don't really stare back. i think i've only caught you staring back like once or twice.
there was only once. when you did spoke a word to me. i was queueing to wash my cup then teacher luci asked me to go to the sink next to you. i feel so damn stupid. i should've said hi. because you apologised to me because i was waiting for you and you were washing 3 cups. i just replied with a 'it's alright'. and i accidentally banged into you. i apologised but you walked away. it was a fast moment. i guess that's the only memory i had with you during the camp. i've missed you today. it felt like something was missing in me. you were missing.
call me crazy, but i'm in love with you, but you don't see that. guess you just deserve someone better, someone prettier. danielle had many anon letters. im surprised emm had too. why not me. too fat i guess. but what to do? that's life. just move on with it.
maybe someday, hopefully it won't be too late that i'll confess. but some of my friends tell me that there's a possiblity that he might feel the same way. i'll keep thinking that, but my hopes aren't so high anymore.
anyway, overall, i've enjoyed the retreat and the camp. it's been a great experience that i'll never forget. now everyone wants cath class. esp the girls. i guess because we realised that some of the boys are cute. haha.
happy fathers' day, daddy! i love you.
happy birthday michelle too :)
and to you, i love you and i miss you.
Row 1: Clydell, Me, Veronica, Rizel, Rynell, Tricia, Kayelean
Row 2: Danielle, Shermaine
WHO RUN THE WORLD? GIRLS! :)
will post a pic of all of us when i have it. haha. cos it's in my teacher's camera.
bye!:)
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11:36 PM
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