Or should I move in close or just be still?
How will I know?
'Cause if I take a chance and I touch his hand
Will everything change?
How do I know if he feels the same?
~Catching Feelings - Justin Bieber
It's been two months since I started having feelings for you. The lyrics above says it all about how I'm feeling, my doubts. There's no obvious sign that you would feel the same. I had just completed reading this book -This Is A Love Story by Jessica Thompson. Basically, it's about a girl meeting a boy, they fall in love. But they don't tell each other until 5 years later. That's true love. To be honest, I never believe in true love. But I guess love is free. It would find it's way to a person's heart.
Everytime you tweet me, I would always feel butterflies in my stomach. I get nervous. What do I reply back to you? I just want our conversations to keep on going. But I guess you're too busy for anything. It hurts to know if the person you love doesn't love you back.
Zinho has been waiting for my friend since P3. Still waiting, that's true love. Love never dies. I was texting her and she just said that they were friends. I honestly didn't want to tell him that but he already knew. Don't like that feeling.
Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up, or continue to wait. Sometimes I wonder, who would ever like a girl like me. My grandmother keeps talking about my weight. I know I'm fat. I'm not perfect, nobody is. My dad was defending me, asking her to just shut her mouth. She's been fucking judging me about my weight ever since don't know when. Only my parents can say things about me. Not her, not anyone else. Even God doesn't say that.
If you ever asked me if I had superpowers, what would it be, I'd choose to read peoples' mind. Wouldn't it be cool to just read off peoples' mind? Wondering what they're thinking at the exact moment, but it can be disturbing too. I don't know but I can't seem to read yours. It's confusing. Sometimes, you tweet that you're missing someone, but I wonder to myself, is that me? You always do that after you tweet to me. I'm confused.
Boy, I'm in love with the thought of you.
Still waiting for your reply. I want to know you more.
---------------------
You, you're a bloody bitch. I was joking when I asked you who you liked. You ignored me and started bitching to Sabrina. You think I didn't know that you went out for lunch with them? Do you think I'm that stupid? You would rather trust our chuch friends whom you only know for 3 days rather than me. I've known you for the longest, and I know you the most. I've known you since P1, ffs.
Just stop your fucking attitude. It's getting on peoples' nerves. We're all getting annoyed with you.
---------------------
Nat is leaving for NY on Monday. She's one of my best friends that I'll never ever forget. She's beautiful, has an amazing voice, great personality. When I first heart that she was migrating, I thought to myself. Why is everyone suddenly leaving me? That was also the time when I was really feeling like I had nobody else. I guess the rest of them hated me that time. When she leaves, I would feel like a part of me would be missing. When she leaves, everyone is going to be affected. That's how one person would change your life completely. I would miss her ego-ness, drama, voice, laugh. She's just an amazing person.
Another friend of mine just told me that she was going to migrate next year. See, why is everyone leaving while I'm just here, going to get myself into more shit, feel more shit, get picked on, it's like being in hell.
But I guess that's life. People come and go. Friends come and go.
Change is the only constant in life. My dad tells me that all the time.
It's true, I guess. Just have to move on and live our lives. #yolo
I wish Nat all the best, hope she would do well there. Live her life, have a brand new beginning. I'm definitely going to miss her. Have a safe trip. God bless. :) xx
Me & NatFM, 29 June 2012
Have a safe trip <3 xx