What can you do when your good isn't good enough and all that you touch tumbles down?
This same lyric, I'm been repeating it all over my blog posts. It just says it all. I'm no good, no good for anyone. You keep asking me why I'm always looking down on myself. Because I am. I really am no good. Not even for you. I'm a fool. I got fooled by you. I just thought for a moment that you felt something for me. Izzah was right, I should've listened to her and not fall into you. Feel rejected, just hurt me so bad. My heart was hurting through amath tuition. I couldn't breathe. Feels like a million pieces broken inside of me.
Maybe relationship just don't work at all for me. Or maybe I'm just rushing it too much. I'm desperate. That's what hurt me. I blame myself, naive me, always so fucking naive. We should be webcamming by now. But I don't feel like it. You're too busy anyway, studying, doing homework. I understand, you want to do well.
Your birthday is on Thursday. I don't think I'm strong enough to see or talk to you. But I'm trying my very best to be as strong as I can be. It hurts, it really hurts. I haven't cried, trying to be strong.
Feel like giving up on love. I take a chance, and I failed, I get hurt. Cycle repeats.
If happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this. All those fairytales are full of shit, one more fucking love song, I'll be sick.
I can't believe you're trying to talk to me normally after what I've told you. Boys will never understand how a girl feels and thinks. You made me feel special, a different kind of special. I'm never happy. I may seem on the outside, but I'm not on the inside. Everyday, people are killing me, little by little. I don't know if I can take it anymore longer.
Goodnight, I had fun oovooing with you for the past few days. But I guess I should move on.